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Papaji and the Nothingness of Dream Time

A recent dream: 

I am at a school or university of sorts. I exit class and walk outside. There I find Papaji sitting in a chair, like the chair he used to sit in while giving satsang. I run up to him and put my head in his lap. I am laughing and crying. He is giving me a teaching but I can't remember much of what he says. As if he knows I won't remember the words he gives me a mirror. In the mirror is Papaji's face. Then the expression on Papaji's face changes. This happens several times. One expression is happy and blissful, one is solemn, one is indifferent. The mirror remains the same. Then, in the last image on the mirror, Nothing, only emptiness. I wake up after seeing the emptiness of the last mirror. The poetry is not lost on me, but clearly I am still lost in "it".

After waking I feel immense love and peace. But I am a bit upset, wishing I could have stayed longer with Papaji.

There are times of deep nothingness in the night now. I awake briefly in the middle of the night, observing my body changing positions and the deeply felt nothingness that has immersed my sleep state. In these brief wakings there is no "I", just a pure awareness of the nothingness.

Other nights I experience the pain and contraction of the lower centers. Dreams will manifest the unconscious programs of the lower mind. Looping narratives and stories play out. Fear and anxiety latent in the mind run these dreams. But something is changing. There is a subtle awareness present in these dream states. As though a part of me is aware of, and immersed in, the nothingness, and this nothingness seeps into these dream states, dissolving the narratives and stories, diving deeper and deeper into their source stream of origin.

In another recent dream, Robert Adams walks up to me, puts his arm around me. We walk like this for awhile. Him with his arm around me. Nothing is said, but everything is communicated.

In another dream state my current teacher, Ed Muzika, visits me. He is an energetic presence, not a body. There is no form of "Ed", other than the vague boundaries of his energetic presence. There is a teaching in these visits, without words, without bodies and mouths to utter anything vocal.  Everything is conveyed in the silence.  

In one dream state several months ago, Ramana and Papaji both visited me. We are at a pub. Ramana sits on the far side of the bar, Papaji and myself on the other. Ramana's presence of emptiness and silence permeates the dream. Papaji breaks out into poetic verse. He is singing his love song to Ramana. Then I get up and start dancing. Jimi Hendrix is blasting through the dream speakers. Papaji finishes his love song to Ramana and joins me on the dance floor. We dance like wild men. We dance, but not we, it is all pure Shakti. Shakti singing it's own love song to Shiva, through our bodies of wild dance floor movements. I wake up in tears of love and joy. Much Shakti is present.

One thing seems to be clear. If you fall deeply in love with the Self of the Universe, this Self will appear to you in whatever form/shape/color/sound that is most dear to your heart. It will manifest as a teacher in your dream state. It will manifest as a teacher in your waking state. This teacher may not always look the part of a teacher. If you love the Self and the Self is the whole universe, this teacher will appear before you always, giving instruction through the mundane and seemingly ordinary events of your life. You will wake up to the every day magic of your own life, the endless synchronicities becoming the language that the Self uses to speak to you. This is Grace. Watch now as it dissolves everything you previously held to be you. This is Self leading Self back home. How it appears is irrelevant. Look beyond the appearances, and the Self is there. 





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